Taper Thoughts

I'm at work, the newsroom is almost empty at this hour, only a few reporters on duty staring at the news wire screens. The best part of the day, when I unwind from the commute with a coffee, catch up on the news, browse the paper and go through the emails. Feeling anxiously relaxed. I know, an oxymoron. Let me explain.

I'm at the stage of the training, when all the hard work is done, and the taper is on. "Barely" running - meaning the training distance dropped from over 36k to merely 10. That's the point when I should trust my training plan, and let the body recover, regenerate, re-energize for the race. But, since there's so little running, I feel like I'm not doing enough. Every time I tie the shoelaces, I fight the urge to go somewhere far, over the horizon and back. Standing still is killing me. I know, I've been through this phase time and time before, but it's still unnerving.

Why am I writing this? Because, in a way, it feels like I'm at the same stage in life. A taper age. When most of the learning and training is done, and all I need to do is cruise to maintain what I've become. And, just like taper, there's that nagging feeling that I'm missing something, that I'm not doing enough, that at the main event, a race, I will somehow bonk and fail. But, there's no race in life, because the whole thing IS a race. Instead, I'm forcing myself to relax - another oxymoron, I know - and trust the training. Trust the small victories and always bigger failures, trust what I've learned so far will take me safely to the next leg of the race.

Maybe that is why I love running so much. It's not only a metaphor for life, it is a life-training. And taper, maddening as it is in its apparent inactivity, is a very important part in winning one's goal.